Festival Fun!
by clumsyclown
Summary: What happens when Pein needs to relax and he decided to go to Konoha's Festival? Well, the title did not tell the truth, their trip wasn't that 'fun'. Crack! Rewritten!
1. Youthful Radio, Dattebayo!

**Author's note: **this is my first fanfic, so sorry if this sucks

**Disclaimer: **I do N.O.T own Naruto, if I do, I'll expose ShikaxTema moreee and moreee :D

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Festival Fun!

Chapter 1

Once upon a day in the Akatsuki lair…

Pein is doing his un-ending paperworks while saying un-ending curses with Konan accompanying him while listening to her radio that sounded like 'Konoha Radio Station'. It looks like it's a lovelife session on the radio with someone called Gai hosting it, and a girl called Hinata is telling her problem that she was very shy to confess her feelings to a certain man, that Hinata girl's voice sounds like she could faint any time

"Im not sure this kind of show will help us at love at all, it's useless not to mention nonsense, don't you think Pein?" Konan asked

"I don't care about that crap on the radio, Konan, but I really do care if you can help me with this unending paperworks! They're related to you, so maybe you could handle them better than me" Pein started to look frustrated

"Serious, Pein, you really are weird when you're stress, they're inanimate things. And what do you mean by 'related to me' ?"

"Oh God…wait, I AM the God" he stopped a moment, "_Oh Pein_, I don't know that you're this stupid, Konan. You ARE the PAPER-MADE woman! Got it?"

"Wow, chill out dude! I know Im a paper woman but that kinda hurt you know" Konan said

"Like a _cute_ place in hell I care" He said sarcastically, "AARRGGHH! I can't stand this! I really should have some rests" he ruffled his hair

"No one said you can't have some rests at the first place, you're the one who take those paperworks and this organization's craps so serious and ignored all of our advices to relax a bit." Konan told him, "You're a workaholic Pein, admit it. And emo. And violent. And grumpy. And…" She said just to be cutted off by Pein

"OKAY! ENOUGH OF TALKING!" He exclaimed "Listen, the emo one is Itachi, or more precisely his brother, or both of them, Whatever. Hidan is the violent one, and Kakuzu is the grumpy. Done!" He said with a dead tone, "Now GET ITACHI HERE! I really need him to make that fucking relaxing tea, he's the best tea maker ever"

"Okay, okay, I wonder where is he," Konan murmured "maybe he's in the bathroom right now, _admiring his beautiful silky hair…_" she preventing herself not to laugh and get out from the Leader's office

Right after Konan got out from his room, something attracted his attention, he took Konan's radio then listening to it, when suddenly a shocking music came out from the radio

"HEY DUDES AND DUDETTES, LET'S GO! COME TO KONOHA'S BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! WE WILL HOST A FESTIVAL, DON'T BE SORRY IF YOU'RE NOT THERE!" a voice of guy that sounded like dog barks voice said excitedly,

Then a voice of coquettish girl say, "DON'T MISS THE BEAUTY STAND! FOR THOSE GIRLS WHO WANT TO LOOK PRETTY, IT'S THE RIGHT PLACE!" then she giggled,

"MUST TRY THE RAMEN STAND TOO, DATTEBAYO! PARTICIPATE IN THE RAMEN EATING CONTEST AND YOU'LL GET CATCHY SOUVENIRS!" this one sounded like a hyperactive and over-energetic man,

"AND DON'T FORGET THE YOUTHFUL ARENA! YOU CAN CHALLENGE YOUR FRIENDS HERE AND GET SOME PRESENTS! DON'T WORRY, YOUR SAFETY GUARANTEED!" a dramatic guy exclaimed,

"And the most scary haunted house ever…." a mysterious voice said

"AND MANY MORE STANDS! DON'T MISS IT, BE THERE GUYS, DATTEBAYO!" all of the persons above exclaimed in unison

Then the happy-shocking music started to play again

"Hm, this is interesting" then Pein's lips started to form a small grin "yes, this will be a perfect place to get rid of my stressful days" (I don't know why but he sounded evil) "now I need to get the others.."

To Be Continued

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**Kinda OOC isn't it? but who cares, please give me some suggestions so I can make the next chapter better**

**R & R!**


	2. Who's With Me?

**Author's note: **here comes the second chapter! kinda long isn't it?

**Disclaimer** : I hate to say this but...I d-d-don't own Naruto T_T

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Festival Fun!

Chapter 2

"Alright, we're gathering here because I gotta tell you idiots something," Pein started, "I have decided to..."

At this Pein-dramatical-pause, everyone have their own wishes,

_'Please pay hike, please let it be pay hike'_ ofcourse that was Kakuzu's wish

_'I hope that he already realizes and converted into Jashinism'_ Hidan thought

_'More often hair treatment-un!'_

_'Did he finally let me kill Tobi and turn him into a puppet?'_

_'Ugh, I really need to subscribe cable TV, must watch that channel, what was it again? discovery health? I really have to know how to take care of my precious eyes'_

_'Let it be new printer! Im tired of coloring these origamis by my own'_

_'Tobi wants pet! Tobi wants puppy! a cute little puppy!'_

_'Did he has agreed to build a swimming pool in our lair?'_

Those were the non-verbal wishes,

"Let's hope that he already allowed us to change this lair into a greenhouse!" Zetsu's light side told the dark one

**"No you idiot, he won't allow us even if we threaten to eat him,"** Zetsu's dark side argued his not-twin-but-in-one-body

"Ofcourse Pein's not afraid of that kind of threat, because he has 6 bodies, eh, 7 if we count the original one, and we will obviously die caused by eating too much iron"

The others are watching at this usual-but-weird scene, then Pein cut interrupted

"Ehm, alright, I have decided to go to Konoha's Birthday Celebration! They're going to host a festival, and it sounded pretty fun!"

..silence.

after about 40silence(s) more,

"…Huh?..." was the only respond, from Itachi

"OH MY PEIN! How stupid are you guys? like I've said before, we're going to Konoha's Birthday Festival, you know some sort of big party, and it starts tomorrow, it looks like they'll hold it for about one week. Please tell me you know what Im talking about"

"WHAT THE FUCK? ARE YOU STILL IN YOUR FUCKING MIND? And its not 'OH MY PEIN' but 'OH MY JASHIN' you fucking heathen" Hidan shouted, as always.

"Whatever," Pein answered, indifferent "anyway who come with me?" he asked hopefully, very not Pein-ish.

No one responded, they just gave Pein a wtf look

"Uhm, Leader-sama?" Itachi tried to check their leader's sanity rate, "I think, for our best, we shouldn't go to Konoha's festival" Itachi continued, "what will happen if they know that a group of S-class criminal ninjas are wandering around in their village?"

"Itachi got a point, un!" Deidara agreed, so do the others

"So what? we can just masquerade like ordinary ninjas," Pein answered, so confident about himself, "And honestly, none of you were acting like a REAL S-class criminal ninja for the last 12 years I've know all of you, except for Itachi and Sasori of course, who SOMETIMES act like the real one…and me too"

"At least we're still sane, and not out from our fucking mind!" Hidan shouted with his usual cursing

"Or, we HAVEN'T out from our mind YET, im sure we _will_ someday, if you keep cursing with your current volume" Kakuzu yelled

"Like I fucking care about you grandpa! I understand that you envied me, because im so young and sexy, and you are a grumpy, cheap, old tailor" Hidan laughed at his own joke

Konan looked disgusted "Seriously Hidan, you're disgusting, especially when you describe yourself as young and sexy'"

Kakuzu laughed at that, "HAHAHA eat that! I don't know if you have realized this or not, but you're immortal too, so you're going to be a super old man too someday"

When Hidan was about going to answer that, Itachi yelled;

"IF YOU DON'T STOP, BOTH OF YOU WILL TRAPPED IN A HONEYMOON RESORT AND _KISSING EACH OTHER FOR 72 HOURS_!"

Both Hidan and Kakuzu gulped, then piped down. The image of them kissing in a honeymoon resort was enough. Way more than enough.

"Back to the topic everyone! so who's with me?" Pein said, still full of hopes

"Whatever. I'll go, I cant stand this arguing anymore. So I'll go and it will end" Sasori replied flatly

"I will go, too un!" Deidara shouted, somehow sounded excited

"If sempai is there, Tobi wants to be there too!" Tobi jumping happily

"Hmm..Pein's idea about masquerade into someone else is kinda makes sense," Konan said slowly while thinking, "so I'll go, maybe there's a traditional origami stand! and I can buy new kimonos too!" She sounded excited, too

"Me too," both side of Zetsu replied, "I'm getting tired of working" the light side added

"Did you ever get to work? all you do is eat, and Im not sure if 'eating' considered as 'working'," Kisame asked sarcastically "and im going to that festival too. Usually they have some cute fishies in a festival, I cant wait to have one of them! heheheh" he grinned evilly

Everyone refused to imagine what will Kisame do to the poor fishies after he buy one

"Just Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu left now! will you three come?" Pein asked, trying so hard to make his voice sounds as cute as possible, but then it sounded like he was trying to not shitting his pants

"No." they answered in unison

"Awww, come on! Don't be so mean to your leader :3"

"Your face looks like a stupid manwhore when you're trying to be cute" Hidan told him

"You're a bit harsh honestly" Konan said

"No! Going to a festival is just a waste of money!" Kakuzu exclaimed

"How fucking cheap are you actually?" Hidan shouted, starting a conflict again but Itachi shot him a dead glance

"Errr..sorry Itachi" Hidan said automatically

"Itachi, please?" Pein haven't gave up yet

"No"

"Please please please?"

"No no no"

"You can meet your darling brother there"

"That multiplied the no"

"Even if I agree to subscribe that damn cable TV?"

"Hmmmm...…yes"

"ALRIGHT!" Pein exclaimed happily, "For you two immortal freaks, I don't care if you aren't coming so do as you please"

"OH HELL NO! I REFUSE SPEND MY FUCKING TIME JUST WITH THIS FUCKER" Hidan shouted, "What will I eat for lunch if there's just him in the lair? He will probably give me stewed threads"

"I'll go! I don't want to be alone in this lair!" Kakuzu exclaimed

"Don't tell me that grandpa Kakuzu is scared" Hidan snickered

"Whatever dipshit, I dont want to spend my 72 hours kissing with you so I'll just ignore you,"

"THEN IT'S SETTLED!" Pein was very excited at the moment, "Dress like normal ninjas tomorrow okay? as for Tobi, don't wear that stupid mask"

"But Leader Pein-sama, then they'll now who I am!" Tobi gasped

"Well, who cares? all of us already now who you are"

"Okaay," Tobi looked disappointed

"We're gonna set off at around 3pm okay? don't be late!" Pein commanded

"Why in hell we can possibly late? we live in the same house un"

"I dont even know it either Deidara, now all of you are dismissed!"

Then they headed to their room, searching for suitable clothes to wear tomorrow

To Be Continued

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**So how was it? I really need your suggestion, im so scared since it's my first :l  
**

**R & R please!**


	3. Fashion Disaster part 1

**Disclaimer :** I don't own Naruto and other brands that i may mention

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Festival Fun!

Chapter 3

**07:00 AM**

It's a nice, silence day in the Akatsuki lair, very rare isnt's it for the Akatsuki to be this quiet,

"AAAARRRGGGHHH", someone screamed. Well, it's not a very quiet morning anymore

"WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKING IDIOTS THAT JUST DISTURBED MY EFFING SLEEP?" Hidan shouted angrily

"Just for your info, you disturbed my precious sleep as well" Kakuzu yelled to his partner

"What-fucking-ever, I dont care! I really need to sleep! I've been so fucking busy these days"

"No, you're just making yourself look busy by doing that stupid ritual"

"Poor you who don't have God cheap heathen"

"AAARRRGGGHHAHSUYEKDGAIDGWQH!" someone screamed again

"What the hell Tobi un?"

"Where's Tobi's favorite shirt? where is it? Tobi wanna wear it to the festival today!" Tobi asked his shemale partner, panic to the extreme

"Curse that favorite shirt of yours un! Can't you just wear another shirt?"

"Today is Tobi's laundry day senpai! Not many shirts that Tobi can wear today and Tobi wants that shirt!"

"What that shirt looks like, Tobi?" Sasori asked calm and softly

"It's color is orange and has black swirly pattern on it!"

"Very Tobi style" Kisame noted

"Are you obsessed to orange and swirly pattern, Tobi?"

"Yes, Itachi-san! as you obsessed to your brother-"

"Im not a pedophile!" Itachi retorted

Tobi shrugged, "But Tobi doesn't like Pein-sama's hair and eyes pattern! He's freak"

Fortunately, Pein is not in the room right now

"So, where and when did you saw that shirt for the last time?" Sasori asked, still patiently

"Tobi doesn't remember, if Tobi does, then Tobi will know where it is right now"

"Captain obvious" someone muttered

Suddenly Zetsu walked in from the Laundry room

"Oi oreo! did you saw Tobi's orange and swirly shirt?" Kisame asked

"U..uhh..i..i d-didn't know" Zetsu was nervous somehow

"AHHH TOBI KNOWS! YOU ATE IT ZETSU-SAN!"

"T..T-TOBI?" Zetsu's eyes widened like they're going to plop out from his eye holes

"YOU'RE SO EVIL ZETSU-SAN! TOBI THOUGHT YOU'RE NICE!" Tobi started sobbing

"AAARRRGGGHH, OH MY FUCKING GOD, TOBI!" Zetsu screamed, freaked out

"What the fuck is happening?"

"Hey chill out, both of you!" Kisame exclaimed

"CHILL THE FUCK OUT, OR YOU WILL LIVE IN THE BARBIE WORLD WITH CUTE PONIES FOR A LIFETIME-" Itachi screamed angrily, that was scary, seriously

"-Oh! Tobi loves ponies" then Hidan smacked him on his head. He fainted.

"That's better," Kakuzu said

"Zetsu, what's so scary about Tobi?" Sasori asked while Zetsu was still hyperventilating

"Okay i'll be honest," Zetsu started, trying to slow his breathe down "I was very hungry last night, but I was very scared to go downstair by myself-okay, you may call me a coward, whatever-so i withstand my hunger, but at dawn i can't stand it anymore, so i check the refrigerator, and i found NO MEAT! There are only vegetables there! Honestly, I blame you Itachi, because your stupid idea to be a vegetarian for your health. So I freaked out since I don't know what to eat, and if I eat those fishies in the pond Kisame would probably cut me into two part-"

Then Hidan interjected, "-you're already separated into two"

"Did you ever listen to a person quietly? Go on, Zetsu" Kakuzu said

"So, then, yeah I checked all rooms in the lair cause i thought maybe I could found something to eat and I saw Tobi in the laundry room, I don't know what he was doing there, he didn't even move. I was very fucking hungry back then, maybe my sanity had gone for a moment because of that so I decided to eat Tobi, according to the fact that he was the...um...most forgotten member in our organization"

Hidan laughed very hard at this, until Itachi gave him the-uchiha-sexy-death-glare

"That's why I freaked out when I saw Tobi" Zetsu continued "Im afraid to the fact that I ate him and maybe he's back to have his revenge"

"That sounds a bit like your brother, Itachi" Kisame snickered

Itachi glared at him and Kisame gulped

"Maybe Zetsu thought Tobi's favorite shirt is Tobi back then, so he ate it un"

"Maybe," Sasori agreed "Tobi's mask and his shirt look similar in my mind"

"Poor Tobi-un! I'll lend him my orange shirt when he's conscious" Deidara looked sympathetic

"Yeah, but Tobi really should be thankful to Jashin-sama that Zetsu wasn't fucking ate him..YET"

"Wow, it's amazing that you could be grateful, Hidan!" Kisame said

"Shut the fuck up"

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Pein is in his room with Konan, busy picking what clothes to wear to the festival

"Konan, don't you think it's a miracle they aren't making any sounds? Or havent?" Pein asked happily. He was in a very good mood.

"No, I think they aren't going to be an ass today, maybe they're excited for the festival too" Konan smiled, trying to boost Pein's mood even more because she was going to ask Pein to buy her some new kimonos

"Yeah, you're right" Pein answered in a singsong voice

"_You don't know i turned this room to soundproof, aren't you?_"

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"Oi Kisame" Zetsu said

"What is it?"

"I hope that you allow me to eat one or two fishies, im starving to death" Zetsu started to beg Kisame

"And why is that has something to do with my fishes?"

"Oh please! Don't be a cheap ass like Kakuzu, you have plenty of them! I swear I'll eat the ugly ones and and spare the cuties!"

"It's okay then, since i refused to having my fish-scale-pattern shirt inside your stomach"

"Hehehe, thankyou Kisame-kun! I love yooouuu" Zetsu tried to look cute, but fail miserably

"Now you sound like Orochimaru"

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**R & R please!**


	4. Fashion Disaster part 2

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the late update, school things. and so sorry if this one isn't funny, i'm so stressed out lately :(

**Disclaimer :** I don't own Naruto and any other brands I may mention below

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Festival Fun!

Chapter 4

**11:00 AM**

Itachi was about going to his room when he passed the 2nd floor bathroom, and suddenly,

"WHAT THE FUCK UN? WHO THE HELL DARE TO DO THIS?" you-know-who-with-speaking-disorder exclaimed

"_Oh God,_" Itachi sighed, after the tobi-shirt incident is there any worse thing could possibly happen today?

"What is it, Deidara?" he asked, trying so hard to not threaten Deidara because if he does, Deidara would turn into his blow-things-up rampage and he'll blow up the lair, then Kakuzu will be ridiculously mad because they'll have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to fix the lair up, then Kakuzu will be ridiculously insane, and he'll ridiculously try to kill Itachi for making their lair ridiculously detonated, and then Kakuzu will ridiculously recruit Sasuke to join Akatsuki and ruined his life, then...then...then... "_stop, Itachi._" he told himself, "_this is ridiculous_"

"WHO THE FUCK SWAP MY SHAMPOO WITH THIS BABY OIL UN?" Deidara yelled, just wearing towel and holding a Baby Oil bottle "my hair smells like baby's butt"

Kisame take the baby oil from Deidara's hand, "this is mine! who gave it to you?"

"Eh..? what did you say Kisame un?" Deidara's eyes widened

"Err" Kisame noticed his mistake "Well, this baby oil is mine-"

Before he could finished his sentence, Itachi and Deidara laughed very hard in unison, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHAT THE FUCK KISAME? WHO KNOWS THAT YOU USE BABY OIL? HAHAHAHAHA" they laughed 'till they ran out of air supplies -literally.

When both of the long haired men gasping for air, Kisame took this opportunity to explain things,

"I'm not the one who use it! It's for my fishies! I want them smell great!" Kisame explained

"Well, that's the same un! who knows that you spend your times rubbing your fishes with baby oil?"

"What a scary member of Akatsuki" Itachi added

"Fuck that! Like you're scary" Kisame answered back, "By the way Deidara, did you realize that you're wearing nothing except a towel?"

"AAAAHHHH!" Deidara screamed like girl then ran to the bathroom, slamming the door

"Oi Deidara!" Hidan walked in the corridor from his room "I almost forget to tell you; I used your shampoo"

"WHAT UN!" Deidara slammed open the door again, didn't care if he still just wearing a towel

"..shampoo." Hidan spell it right in front of Deidara's face, considering this as a great opportunity to annoy Deidara "You look hot when you're topless" then Hidan laughed like a maniac

"The fuck Hidan? Y U GAY?" Kisame looked disturbed

"I'm not fucking gay fish boy! Why in hell would I be gay if lots of girls wanna be with me?" Hidan asked, running his fingers through his silver shiny hair

"Ugh..Im going to puke soon"

"_This is going to be interesting_" Itachi thought

"What about my shampoo un?" Deidara shouted

"Oh Jashin, people in this lair are going to be as fuckin' cheap as Kakuzu! I just used a very little-tiny-small amount of your oh so precious shampoo! It's not my fault if it wore out, it's your fucking fault that you didn't buy it before i used it!"

"WHO KNOWS THAT YOU WILL USE MY SHAMPOO UN? YOU FUCKING THIEF!" Deidara roared

"WE'RE IN THE SAME ORGANIZATION HERE! WE SHOULD FUCKING SHARE WHAT WE HAVE, ASSHOLE" Hidan roared back

"Wow Hidan, did you just told Deidara about solidarity? that sounds very unlike you" Itachi noted

"But that doesn't go for Kakuzu," he shrugged "He will probably chose money than this organization"

"My shampoo..my...my...it is MINE!" Deidara yelled, his voice was shaking rapidly

"Tell you what, you're too over" Kisame told him, "Just buy another one"

"You dont know un! That shampoo is a very-damn-fucking-out-of-our-mind limited! There are only 10 per year un!"

"What kind of fucking shampoo that just vended 10 per year?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S RIDICULOUSLY LIMITED IDIOT! AND YOU JUST USED IT UN!"

"Lucky me that I used your limited shampoo, no wonder why my hair is so smooth" Hidan said innocently while stroking his hair

"YOU!- HOW DARE YOU!" then the following events are; Deidara blew Hidan up, Hidan's head thrown in the air and revolved to Itachi's feet

"HAHA YOU CAN'T FUCKING KILL ME, ASSHOLE!"

"I DON'T CARE I JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU SUFFER IN A LIFETIME UN!"

"Give it a shot shemale!"

Unfortunately, Deidara has an idea on his mind; he blew up Hidan's scythe, took Hidan's necklace from his no-head neck, then flushed the necklace in the toilet

"AAAHHHH! LORD JASHIN WILL PUNISH ME IF I LOST THEM!" Hidan cried

"Be patient, Hidan" Itachi said sympathetically

"I CAN'T BE FUCKING PATIENT!" Hidan roared, "WHEN KAKUZU ALREADY SEW ME UP I'LL THREW HIM TO THE FANGIRLS SO THEY CAN RAPE HIM"

Deidara, who was in the middle of horror imagination of him being raped by fangirls, shaking rapidly and lost his ability to talk. He fainted.

"He's just the same as Tobi," Itachi tsk-ing, he took Hidan's head and stick it to it's body again, "Go to Kakuzu and ask him to sew you up again. Be careful your head may loose again and i refused to having Tobi fainted again if he saw your head detached _again_"

"What about my scythe and necklace, fucker?"

"You shouldn't call the one who helped you 'fucker', dumbass. Just ask Sasori to repair your scythe, and as for your necklace, ask him" he pointed to Kisame "to lend you his fishes to get back your freak necklace"

"It's not freak! It's a holy necklace!"

"Whatever"

"Uh..Itachi? If I let my fishies to swim in that toilet, then there will be no use for the baby oil" Kisame said slowly

"That baby oil doesn't smell good at all, it smells like baby's butt so there's no use of it in the first place" Itachi answered then leave

Kisame didn't say anything to his partner's harsh comment. He's probably crying inside.

"Hey Hidan, tell you what; I'll lend you my fishies but pay $10 for each minute" Kisame grinned

"WHATHEFUCK? Pein haven't fucking pay us yet, you know that! You're just the same as Kakuzu! Ugly, don't have normal human appearances, cheap-"

"-you wan't your necklace back or not?" Kisame asked with dark aura surrounding him

"OKAY! OKAY! I'LL PAY"

"Great. Now, what are we going to do with this blondie here?"

"I don't fucking care" then he leave to find Kakuzu

"Sorry Deidara, I have to leave you too. Hope someone will find you" Kisame sinckered

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**13:00 PM**

Itachi is in his room reading books, Hidan is in the toilet with the fishes, Kisame is with Hidan to make sure Hidan isn't going to hurt his fishies, Zetsu and Tobi are watching TV, well its more like Tobi was trying to annoy Zetsu watching TV to avenge his shirt, Sasori is in his room trying to fix Hidan's scythe, Kakuzu and Pein are in the kitchen talking about pay hike, Konan is in her room doing her hair, and Deidara...he's in God-and-you-know-where

"It's almost 3pm, I think we should go now, Konoha is very far from here" Pein said

"Who's going to drive the car?" Kakuzu asked

"Everyone is okay except Itachi or Hidan, they'll hit everyone who get in the way" Pein say with a horror tone

"Hahahah," Kakuzu laughed sarcastically, "I'll tell everyone to get going"

"Where is Deidara-senpai?" Tobi panicked, he's wearing an orange shirt that Deidara lend him, and a short, no longer wearing his mask, and wearing a full-framed glasses (**A/N:** he looks like Obito, not Madara)

"Can't we just leave him?" Zetsu's dark side said

"No we can't!" Tobi yelled "Tobi wants to go with senpaaaaiii!"

"What the hell is he doing?" Pein frowned, unhappy "Konan get him now! We're almost late"

Itachi, Kisame, Hidan (who already has his necklace back and his scythe fixed) didn't tell anyone a single thing about what happened

* * *

When Konan already on the 2nd floor, she went to the corridor, she didn't expect to find _a certain man _in _a certain condition_ just wearing _a certain cloth_ there

When she saw Deidara, fainted on the floor, half-naked, she was ready to explode

"DEIDARAAAAAAAAAAA...!" she screamed with a mega-hyper-ultra loud voice, if you're sensitive enough, you'd feel that the lair is shaking

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**I think this chapter isn't very funny, I'm sorry if it is. And I think Tobi looks gorgeous with a full-framed glassed XD  
**

**R & R please!**


	5. On the Way

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto, McDonalds and other things that I might say below^-^**  
**

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Festival Fun!

Chapter 5

Everyone are ready to go (including Deidara) they have changed to normal clothes;

Pein is the one who drive because all of the Akatsuki decided that he is the most normal one, he's also the only one who has a driving license. Itachi sat next to Pain in the front passenger's seat.

"Itachi, why you sat in the passenger's seat? that is my place." Konan asked, protested

"It's up to me where I want to sit Konan," Itachi answered calmly, "and who said it's your place?"

"Well, usually that seat is for the driver's girlfriend isn't it?" Konan looked not sure about herself, "that what happens in a normal family"

"HAHAHAHAH ITACHI IS PEIN'S NEW WIFE!" Kisame burst out laughing, trying to make joke on this oh so boring trip to Konoha

"HAHAHA WE REALLY SHOULD FUCKING TELL THIS TO HIS BROTHER" Hidan added with maniacal laugh

"Fuck." Itachi answered simply

"Does that means Konan-sama is Leader Pein-sama's wife this whole time! Tobi know!"

"No! that wasn't what I meant Tobi!" Konan panicked "I just thought that girl fits more to sit there, whatever, that just my random thought"

"But Itachi is a girl un!" Deidara snickered

"Well, well, well, look who's talking" Itachi answered, "at least I don't have blonde hair and blue eyes that makes me look even more like a hot chick"

"I'll detonate you soon un!"

"Try to give it a shot blondie" Itachi smirked

"All of you are incredibly noisy" Pein yelled, "I can't concentrate here, oh Kami, fucking traffic jam!"

"Uh why it has to happen on me?" Sasori asked no one

"Ask your grandma fucker"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, keep talking" Sasori rolled his eyes

And they trapped in a very long traffic jam, it looks like there were lots of people that are going to Konoha's Festival, so all they can do is waiting. But 'waiting' was not and never will be in the Akatsuki's vocabulary, especially Sasori's.

All of the chaos started when Deidara got bored and decided to play with his clay. He made all of the Akatsuki members mini-figurine

"Look! Deidara-senpai is making our figurines everyone! And there's Tobi, too!" Tobi said then clapping his hands happily

"Stop acting like an idiot kid un"

"Where?" Zetsu's white side asked

"Here! Look!" then Tobi give each member their own mini size version

Konan just stared at her figurine, smiling so sweet that Pein couldn't help but looking at her and blushed

"I know I'm cool" Kakuzu, Kisame and Zetsu's both sides said in unison

"I'm sexy, yeah!" Hidan shouted, examining the clay doll

"Hi little Tobi! Big Tobi is here!" Tobi chatted happily with his figurine like a mentally-disorder kid

"I hate those lines in my face" Itachi commented

"Does my face look this boring everytime?" Sasori asked and playing the figurine with the chakra strings that flew out from his fingers

"Huh?" that was Pein's comment, he threw the figurine to the back seat, Sasori tried to catch it but then he realized that his hands were still filled with chakra strings, but it's too late. When the doll touched Sasori's hands…

_**KABOOOOOMMM!**_

"AAAHHH FUCK UN! YOU'RE AN IDIOT PEIN SAMA! YOU TOO DANNA!" Deidara shouted as the car started to burn

"We're going to die! we're going to dieeeeeeee!" Kisame panicked

"You are, I'm not." Itachi still looked so calm, opening the car's door then get out from the car

All of the members followed Itachi's brilliant step

"Fuuhh I thought we were going to die as grilled beefs" Konan said sweating

"Or grilled fish, or grilled wood, or grilled aloe-vera un!"

"DO YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAFFIC JAM?" Itachi's roar caused the road to crack, the volcano mountains erupted, tsunami everywhere, the sky fallen, and the earth exploded.

Ehm, back to point.

"…and everyone's watching us…" Sasori added

Suddenly car's horn sounds are everywhere in every directions. The Akatsuki panicked, they don't wanna die in the road, it'd be extremely ridiculous!

"Hey! get off the road now yo!" a black guy (not being racist), rapper-style guy exclaimed

**"Let Zetsu handle this…"** Zetsu's dark half said, walking towards the guy's car…2 minutes later…Zetsu came back and you know what he did to the man right?

But after that, the car's horns rampage getting worse and worse. Thanks God Itachi is in a bad mood, he switched his eyes to the mangekyou sharingan then exclaimed,

"MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN RAMPAGE, SPECIAL EDITION" after 1,4893759477 mili second, the car horns stopped to rang, it was very quite…too quiet in fact

"What the fuck did you do to them? If the cops know we're dead!" Pein yelled

"You're the leader and you're scared of the cops? I do the special mangekyou sharingan to them" Itachi smirked _(OMG HE ACTUALLTY** SMIRKED.** HOW SEXY WAS THAT?)_

"And…?"

"And I make ALL of them imagine their selves being raped by Ronald McDonald"

"…Okay, now that makes sense" Kakuzu gulped, "let's steal their wallets YEAHH!"

"We have no time dumbass, we gotta go steal car then continue our trip"

"Yeah, let's go un"

* * *

"Aahh we finally arrived," Pein sighed in relief, they're in the parking lot now

"Yeayy! Tobi is so excited!"

"Hurray! we finally make it!" Konan said with huge smile

"Go on your own, do what do you wanna do. Meet here at 7pm. LATE IS NOT TOLERATED!" Pein demanded, "ah, as for Itachi DON'T MANGEKYOU THE TOURISTS AND DON'T KILL YOUR BROTHER. And Zetsu, GO VEGETARIAN TONIGHT. Got it?"

"Yeah"

"Okay then, bye! I'll go with Konan-chan" He said happily, grabbing Konan's hand then go inside the festival area

"Tobi knows leader-sama has something for Konan" Tobi snickered

The rest of the members nodded

* * *

**I haven't really decided what will happen in the next chap. If you have any idea, tell me please:D**

**Don't forget to RnR!  
**


	6. Itachi the Michael Jackson

**The sixth! thanks for those who has reviewed this story, you RAWKS THE WORLD!**

**A/N: I dont know much about festivals in japan, neither about kimonos or the things so sorry if this kinda out of how festivals are supposed to be ;)**

**I own nothing except the plot**

* * *

Festival Fun!

Chapter 6

"Hn. What shall we do now?" Itachi asked the left out Akatsuki members

They're already inside the festival area and there are so many people there, and many of them are giving weirdo glares to the Akatsuki. Many kids are running around with balloons in their hands, and when they look around, they noticed that they wore the wrong costumes. Well, at least from what they've seen there, people are wearing traditional yukata, and such things but they look like they're going to go to a concert instead a traditional festival, it's not like the Akatsuki care, though.

And as you could think, many teenage girls are looking at Itachi with an '_OMG! HOTTIEESSS_' or '_Be my boyfriend pleasee!_' or blushing to the max. Itachi didn't seemed to care about that. But wait, don't you think that Itachi is the only one who got fangirls! Deidara, Sasori, Hidan and even Tobi do too. Deidara & Hidan seemed to be over-confident with many girls are looking to them, Sasori didn't even noticed it and Tobi are just waving to everyone like an idiot (well he is an idiot so that kinda makes sense)

"AAAHHH LOOK! COTTON CANDIES!" Tobi squealed as he ran towards the stand

"Hhhh moronic idiot" Kakuzu said, "who wants to keep an eye on him? Pein would be mad if he lost or die or something"

...No answer

"ALRIGHT! ROCK PAPER SCISSOR UN!" Deidara exclaimed, did not care if there are many people there watching them

And after a bloody match of Rock Paper Scissor, someone has been chosen...and he's...Hidan. Perfect. A temperamental Jashinist who like to swear guiding an annoying little idiot in a festival in a village full of ninjas that tracked an S-class criminal organization which both of them are the members. This can't be better!

"I want a fucking rematch! This can't be happening!" Hidan yelled

"Could you please keep your sweet mouth?" Sasori asked with sweet dead tone, "there are many kids here"

"That's the fucking point! I can't keep my mouth from swearing just like Deidara can't stop saying un ("Hey!" Deidara exclaimed)" Hidan answered, "and that cotton candy maniac there is so fucking annoying as shit that I could explode any time!"

"He has a point actually, and why do we need someone to keep an eye on him?" Kisame asked

"Sigh...you morons," Itachi started talk wisely, "as Kakuzu said, Pein will be, umm..unhappy if we lost him, and who knows? maybe he'll reveal our true identity as a return for candies"

"And why that has to be me for crying fucking out loud?"

"You were chosen Hidan..."

"It was just a stupid Rock Paper Scissor"

"We are here to enjoy our time, not to argue," Kisame told them "and as for Hidan, you could just find fun stuffs while guiding Tobi, you see, there are lots of girls here that seemed attracted to you, and we will allow you do your ritual as much as you could take without us complaining about the bloody carpets"

"Huh? that will be just fine then" Hidan smirking

"And please don't curse Hidan there are kids everywhere, you'll hurt their innocent ears" Sasori warned him

"Cih, whatever. And what about you guys?"

"I'll look after traditional puppets" Sasori said

"Nothing attractive here, I think...I'll go stalking on Sasuke"

"Count me in, Itachi! I looovvveee stalking!" Zetsu said happily

"Just promise me you wont eat him"

"Count me too, un!" Deidara said excitedly, "I want to see your lil' bro"

"Fish catchiiingg!" you-know-who said

"Im the only one left, huh?" Kakuzu said "Gambling sounds fun, isn't it?"

"Okay then, it's settled! Remember, parking lot. 7pm. Dont be late or Pein will make all of us his bodies"

* * *

"It's all happened because of you, stupid!" Hidan yelled at Tobi, he had promised himself not to swear just for this time, and after he's home, he want to swear with all voice he had and he'll make the other members suffer because of that, "It supposed to be fun, with all those girls"

"Huh? did Tobi do something wrong?" Tobi asked him innocently

"NOT SOMETHING! MANY THINGS!" Hidan exclaimed like a crazy guy

"You are weird Hidan-san, and with the robe you're wearing. Candies?" Tobi snickered and handed 3 sticks of lollipop

Hidan gave him a deadly glare

Tobi gulped then give Hidan a supa-dupa-wide smile, he was cute, really

Hidan raised an eyebrow, '_maybe having a little brother could be fun_'

* * *

"Uhm, may I know your name sir?" a blonde girl with long bangs that looks around 15 years old asked Itachi, in a flirting way

Itachi glared at her, "Michael Jackson" he said ignorantly. This girl beside him seemed to be an aggressive fan-girl type

Deidara and Zetsu couldn't help laughing at the name Itachi told the girl, ofcourse the blonde girl-_who looks incredibly like Deidara_- doesn't know who is Michael Jackson, it was a nickname that the Akatsuki gave to Orochimaru in the old days

"Not an usual name, isn't it?" the blonde giggled girlish-ly as the four began walking

"Hn" was the only answer that ever came from Itachi's mouth

"Hey we look a like, aren't we?" Deidara asked the blonde that now known as Yamanaka Ino

"Eh? sorry?" Ino raised an eyebrow

"I mean, come on un! don't you see? our hair?"

'_what is un?_' Ino asked herself, "Uh yeah...kinda, hahaha"

"She looks delicious..." Black side of Zetsu said and Deidara immediately shut his mouth for preventing him say more things that could make Ino scared to death

"What?" Ino yelped, hoping that the weird plant guy isn't a pedophile

"UH oh..nothing, un! He said that fishcakes over there look delicious"

"You idiotic oreo un!"

Zetsu ignored him

"Do you know where is Uchiha Sasuke?" Itachi asked bluntly

"How do you know him..er..Michael-san?" Ino asked, kinda shocked and blushed a bit that the hawt Michael-san suddenly talked to her. '_now that he mentioned Sasuke, he really does look a lot like him_'

"Nothing important, but he is quite famous, you know? After his clan massacre, and about he's the only sole survivor"

"Ohh yeah I know about that" Ino nodded

"And I cant believe that Sasuke's brother really did that, un! He really is a maniac psychopath! Not to mention emo, yeah" Deidara yelled youthfully, knowing that he could mock Itachi as much as he want because if Itachi gets angry, it will reveal his true identity

"But I feel sorry for Sasuke" Ino said, not realizing what's happening between 'Michael-san' and Deidara. Itachi shot Deidara the famous Uchiha-sexy-but-extremely-dead-glance.

"Yeah, he's suffering because of his stupid idiotic brother" Zetsu agreed. Both of them really don't have any idea what will happen once they get back to the lair...

"Enough discussing this. Ino-san could you please help us finding Sasuke? I just wanna see him" Itachi asked

Ino, hyperventilating because 'Michael-san' just called her by her nickname said she was very pleased to help

"You're so dead, both of you, you know?" Itachi whispered in Deidara and Zetsu's ear

"No I dont un" said our favourite blonde criminal then he burst out laughing and Zetsu just give Itachi a big grin

* * *

'_The puppets here aren't really bad_' Sasori thought, '_what kind of stupid woods do they use anyway?_'

He is at a doll stand where you could find many dolls, puppets in many kinds. People there usually are couples-_that makes him wanna puke_- children begging their parents to buy them some dolls, and a group of teenage girls giggling about something (well looks like Sasori hasn't noticed it yet that he is the subject the teenagers were talking about)

As he watched the children, he remembered his childhood, his grandmother, and his teddybear that he carried everywhere. He doesnt feel sad at all, because he doesn't have a feeling, he doesn't even have digestive system, but he feel kinda..._missed it_

He observed a boy-shaped puppet with a smiley face on it's face. He keeps looking it for about 3minutes;

"How much this cost?" he asked

"2 ryo" the man told him nonchalantly

Sasori gave the man the money then noticed that the group of girls are watching him

'_Oh my God! what a cutieee!_' random girl1 thought,

'G_od, he's so sexy as hell_' random girl2 thought

Sasori walked towards them, much to the girls' shock

"Sorry, do we have met before?" he asked, and he doesnt even know why he asked random girl1 that question. He just felt that he has met this girl before, like she's part of his past, his beautiful past that he missed so much, it's like meet a very old bestfriend

"Ummm no" a girl with pink yukata told her shyly and blushing like mad

"Oh sorry I just got dazed" he blinked his few times

'_Awwww! how cute!_' randomgirl3478758 thought

"I'll just give this to you for my apologize" Sasori smiled as he give the girl with pink yukata the puppet he just bought, again, he doesnt know why he's doing that

The aforementioned random girl3 with pink yukata fainted and nosebleeding

The others squealed and blushing in fangirls mode

"Uh, why is she fainted?" Sasori asked

"N-n-nothing" random girl 1 answered nervously

"Okay, i gotta get going bye" Sasori grinned and left the girls immediately, since the girls seemed to be very weird

But he still don't know why he did the things back then, and why suddenly remembered about his childhood...

* * *

"Where's the casino house, dude?" Kakuzu asked a boy with supa dupa thick eyebrows that passed by

"I don't know, sir! but we shall do more youthful activities than gambling!" the boy answered eagerly

"...huh? whatever" Kakuzu left the boy behind

As he walk, many eyes narrowed towards him, probably because of his weird appearance with the black cloak and stuffs, but he didn't give a shit about it and then he found the building that he has been searching for like, ever.

He entered the casino house and saw a blonde lady with two ponytails

'_Isn't that Hashirama Senju's grand daughter? what was her name again? Tsunade?_' he asked himself, "wow she got nice curves there"

He watched Tsunade as she plays with the casino machine

_'This lady sucks! I don't know if God hated her for some reasons or something but she really is lack of luck'_ Kakuzu's mouth gaped _'Heheheh this will be a great chance to gain moneys. Just watch me Hashirama, I'll make your grand daughter suffer for you'_

And then he coughed because he's been laughing for too long. The other gamblers looked horrified

He approached Tsunade, and she asked him what he wants;

"Want a gamble, Tsunade-san?" he asked her before realizing his mistake and how stupid he is

* * *

Somewhere else in the festival area, a little girl screamed;

"AAAAHHHH MOMMY! A SHARK! HEEELLLPP!"

"Hey kid, Im not a real shark! these are all make up!" Kisame laughed

"Huh? what for, mister?"

"Uh...the costume contest, yeah! and since Im active on wwf, I dressed like a shark because they're in danger of extinction"

"So you're joining the contest?" the girl asked, her eyes widened with amazement

"Huh? so there really is a costume contest? Eh I mean Yes! Im participating" Kisame answered with a grin

"You're joining the contest, mister?" a man that came from nowhere asked him

"Huh? wha- yes, Im in!" Actually he doesn't even know if there really is such a contest

"If you're a participant then go here, we will start the contest soon" the man said as he dragged Kisame towards the main stage

"Im not- what? hey kid! help me!" Kisame shouted to the little girl

"Ganbatte, mister! I know you'll win the contest, your make up rocks!" the girl waved happily at Kisame

"Fuck. What am I supposed to do now?" Kisame moaned

* * *

While all the things above is happening, Pein and Konan were enjoying their time together, they seemed to do things like normal couples but they haven't even admitted it that they're dating. But somehow Pein, maybe because he is the leader, felt an unpleasant feeling about his idiotic subordinates and about something bad is going to happen soon...

* * *

**PHEW! what a long chapter this one, maybe I'll make the next a bit shorter**

**So it turned out to be a bit PeinKonan and a bit...um..._sweet_ in Sasori's part**

**RnR! ;3**


	7. Zetsu Attack!

"I have no interest in such festivals" Sasuke said nonchalantly

"But, teme! Tsunade-sama told us that ALL of Konoha shinobis must be there!" Naruto shouted, "Im sure the festival will be fun, dattebayo! there will be lots of cute girls waitin for you"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, "not interested"

"Oh come on Sasuke-kun! We have to be there, just think of it as a mission!" Sakura beg him

"Then I'd rather be training than doing a mission"

"Well well Sasuke, then think of it as a training that could make you stronger," Kakashi suddenly appeared from a puff of smoke, "I heard that Itachi will be there, why don't we use this opportunity to kill him?" Kakashi whispered in Sasuke's ear

"What?" Sasuke exclaimed, switched his eyes to Mangekyou Sharingan-that he gets from killing a weasel- then run so fast to the festival area before his team could even breathe

"He can be a total moron when it comes to Itachi…" Naruto shook his head, "why in the name of Ichiraku that Itachi would be here?"

Sakura sighed while her inner self was like '_**omgomgomg he's so cute when he's dumb**_'

Maybe Team 7 think that Sasuke was a dumb for believing that Itachi was there, but we'll see...

* * *

"Sorry, Kotetsu-san, but this is a costume contest, not a make up contest" a brunette girl said

"Whatever, just count him in Tenten" the aforementioned Kotetsu who is dragging Kisame with him said, "dont you see that his make up is amazing?"

"O-okay" Tenten wrote down something, "You're number 19 sir" she smiled

Kisame doesn't bother to answer but just nod '_why am I even here?_'

"Now you shall wait in the contestants' room, the show has began" Kotetsu said

When Kisame walked in, he saw many weirdos with weird costumes (well, he's one of them) there's someone with a bottle of milk costume, someone dressed as Mario Bros, Pucca, Tom from Tom and Jerry, aloe vera plant, Rex from Toy Story, a garbage can, and many more...Wait! aloe vera plant?

"Zetsu!" he called his aloe vera friend

"Sssshh! Do not disturb, Im in the middle of yoga" Zetsu said

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Kisame sat next to him, "where's Itachi and Deidara?"

Zetsu opened his eyes up, "I was getting bored with the Sasuke-stalking because he was nowhere to find so I just wandered around when a crazy guy drag me here"

"I think that crazy guy really is obsessed with dragging people around" Kisame nodded, "you're in the contest?"

Zetsu nodded then closed hie eyes once again, continuing his yoga. When Kisame sighed about his comrade's weirdness he saw a red-haired guy with akatsuki cloak and akatsuki hat

"Hey isn't that Sasori?" Kisame asked but Zetsu didn't bother to give a damn

"Hey Sasori!" Kisame walked towards him

"Huh? my name is Gaara" the guy turned his head and Kisame saw black eye liner around his eyes

"Uuhh.. sorry my bad. Why are you wearing Akatsuki cloak anyway?"

"It's cool, their costume, you know" Gaara smirked, "I even think to join that organization one day"

"Hahaha I see" Kisame fake laughed-that sounds horrible- "goodluck kid!" he waved to Gaara, '_what a weird kid'_

"AND NOW CONTESTANT NUMBER 14!" a voice above them said enthusiastically

"Oh crap it's number 14! NOOOOO" Zetsu started to freaking out like mad

"Calm the fuck down Zetsu" Kisame demanded, "what number are you?"

"...15"

"_Oh shit_"

* * *

"Hey Hidan-san!" Tobi jumped happily in front of a takoyaki stand, blocking Hidan's way

"What the fuck is it? you want takoyaki?" Hidan asked

"No thanks, Im full Hidan-san!" Tobi smiled

"Then get off from the damn way"

"Tobi wants to ask a question! Tobi has been dying to know the answer!"

Hidan crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow

"Tobi wants to know why Deidara-senpai always says 'un' and 'yeah'! Did Hidan-san knew the answer?" Tobi asked, eyes full with curiosity

'_Its called talking disorder idiot_' he thought but then he think of this as an opportunity to prank Deidara, "Uhm..well Tobi, it's a curse!"

Tobi looked confused

"Yeah! a fucking curse! Deidara was a prince long time ago, he was handsome and sexy, but then somehow he made the wicked witch of his village got mad and he was doomed to look like a girl and can't say more than 3-words-long without saying 'un' and 'yeah'" Hidan explained eagerly

"What?" Tobi gasped, "How evil! Why did the witch do that to senpai?"

"Deidara made angry, and why did she cursed Deidara to look like a girl and having a talking disorder? because it would make him lose his sexiness"

"We have to help him Hidan-san!"

"Yeah we _really_ have too" Hidan smirked evil-ish, "You wanna know how to help him?"

"Yes! Tobi reaaaaaaaaaalllllyyyy wanna know!"

"The curse will disappear if Deidara fucking kiss a _guy_" Hidan having a really hard time to prevent himself laugh, "and not just an ordinary guy, but _**a sexy guy**_"

"Errr..are you sure Hidan-san? where and how did you know?" Tobi looked unsure

"Just fucking believe me! Don't you realize that we are all comrades? comrades must understand and know each other well"

"Woooww Hidan-san is amazing" Tobi giggled

"Yes I am" Hidan said proudly '_or is it you that's beyond stupid?_'

"Now let's find the lucky guy to kiss senpai Hidan-san!"

"Yeah, let's work hard Tobi! we must find a sexy guy just like the Uchihas!" Hidan grinned so wide its scaring the kids

Tobi gulped.

And they start their journey to help Deidara the prince

* * *

"How did you know my name?" Tsunade asked the guy in front of her, all covered in robe

"I, umm, know it from my dream!" Kakuzu answered nervously

Tsunade raised an eyebrow "what if I don't believe you?"

"I'll make you then"

"Hmph alright! You just challenged me, did you?" Tsunade put her jacket off

"Lady Tsunade, dont! you're the hokage and he's our guest, be nice!" Shizune told her

"Ohh so you are the hokage," Kakuzu nod "impressive, just like your grandfather"...'_shit! why I could be this stupid?_'

"And how in hell you know my grandfather?" Tsunade asked

"He's the famous first Hokage duh" Kakuzu rolled his eyes (well if your eyes are sharp enough to notice it)

"And how did you know that Im his granddaughter?" Tsunade's eyes narrowed

"I told you I saw it in a dream!" Kakuzu yelled, "I dont know why I dreamed that crap but it made me realize that I was destined to gamble with you, so that's why Im here, to find you!"

Tsunade still looked don't believe him but eventually she accepted the challenge

"Alright then, If you win, Im going to give you ALL my savings that worth more than this village" Kakuzu said with all confidence he got

"I'll give you ANYTHING you want. How good was that?" Tsunade smirked

"What? y-youre not serious right, Lady Tsunade?" Shizune sounded panic

"Okay then let's play the game shall we?" Kakuzu said excitedly

* * *

"ACHOOO!" Deidara sneezed, "Looks like someone is talking about me un"

"Sasuke usually spend his time training in training ground 3 Michael-san" Ino said, "but since we have an event and the Hokage said that all of us have to be here, I have no idea where is he right now"

"I see, why dont we just-"

"HEY ISN'T THAT ZETSU UN?" Deidara shouted and pointed his finger to the stage, "what the hell is he doing there yeah?"

"Don't tell me he's joining the costume contest"

"When did he go?" Ino asked, somehow panicked "how he could possibly go without us notice it?"

'_Actually I know how he could_' Deidara spoke to himself

When Zetsu is already on the stage, he looked so nervous, he just stood there doing nothing but the tourists are looking in his direction, amazed about the costume, Im sure that none of the tourists get the point of the costume, venus-flytrap? with oreo-color skinned? that just doesn't make sense...

Then suddenly Zetsu started to go extremely mad, he started to keep shouting 'AAAUUUUUU' just like the werewolves in Twilight, he argued with himself and he attacked everyone that passed by, the tourists looked horrified then the chaos started...people screaming and running for their life everywhere, because unfortunately they already knew the plant guy is a canibal

"OH SHIT ZETSU GOES INSANE AGAIN UN!" Deidara started to freaked out, not making things better

"Aaaaahhh! Is he a canibal Michael-san?" Ino shouted, looks like lots of stands is broken due to the tourists' brutality

"More or less" Itachi still looked calm

"We gotta stop him un!"

When the three just about to approach Zetsu, a boy with duck-butt hair is running towards them

"INO!" Sasuke exclaimed

"Sasuke-kun! are you alright?"

"More important, did you see someone who looks like Itachi?" Sasuke asked impatiently

"I haven't seen your brother so I dont know how he looks like" Ino shouted, it's getting noisy everywhere, "but I just met Deidara-san here, and Micha- Michael san?" Ino turned her head, looking for Michael-san that's missing

"That's not important!" Sasuke yelled and covered his head from something that flew from the ceramic stand, "We have to find safe place and find my brother! Come on!" Sasuke grabbed Ino's hand

And you could not tell how happy Ino was. "Why is your brother would be here anyway?"

"I just got the feeling that he's here" Sasuke shouted as they run

"WAIT!" Ino suddenly stopped when realization hits her "that Michael-san...he's Itachi right?"

"What? who's he? tell me!" Sasuke shakes Ino's shoulder

"I met someone called Michael Jackson, I thought it's a very rare name, and he...looks incredibly like you" Ino stared blankly at nowhere

"Does he have freak lines under his eyes?"

Ino nodded

"Crap, it's him! He likes to use marker as makeup since we were kids" Sasuke told her "where did he go?"

"I dont know, when that cannibal guy started to attack he suddenly missing"

"We have to find him immediately!"

Meanwhile...

"Cih! That Ino bitch left me just because Itachi's brother, and where the fuck is Itachi yeah?" Deidara yelled, he seemed not afraid nor shocked at all about the foul-up that's happening around him, he just blew up everything (or everyone) that rushed over to him

"Guess I have to take care of Zetsu un" he sighed

* * *

It looks like the chaos haven't reached the other areas of the festival, it just happened around the costume contest stage so Pein and Konan are still enjoying their date near a flower stand when suddenly...

"I have a bad news, Pein-sama" Itachi walked over to them, disturbing their oh-we-almost-kiss scene

"What is it?" Pein stood from his bench, not pleasured

"It's Zetsu" Itachi started, emotionless as usual, "he somehow joined the costume contest and goes insane on the stage, he started to attack people"

"Oh fuck" Pein rubbed his temple, "don't you know he has a stage fever? whenever he's nervous he'll attack people! Why didn't you stop him?"

"I don't know he has a major stage issue" Itachi answered

"We have to stop him, it's dangerous! He will attack either friends or foes-" Konan said

"-or just an innocent passerby" Itachi added sympathetically, "but that's not all"

"What again? Hidan mutilated everyone?" Pein yelled. Looks like he's gonna be insane too

"No, it's Sasuke" Itachi said slowly "he's currently searching for me, if he found out that Akatsuki is in the village, we're dead"

"Leave it to me," Konan winked, she pulled Itachi's ponytail off, dragged him to nearby public restroom, "wait a second Pein"

After few seconds...

Itachi came out from the restroom, dressed in a blue yukata with his long hair down, no freak lines under his eyes and he's wearing make up

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME?" Itachi roared

"Im helping you, ofcourse" Konan answered with a smile, "Sasuke won't notice you this way"

"You are in a grave danger miss..." Itachi murmured

"Itachi..." Pein said, his voice shaking quite hard, "I-i can't believe it's you...you-you're beautiful"

Konan shot him a jealous glance then grabbed Itachi's arm "Let's go, we gotta stop Zetsu"

When they started running to the stage, Pein asked "where did you get all of those things for Itachi?"

"We are S-class criminals, Pein. Duh"

Then they saw Deidara is in the middle of a fight with Zetsu on the stage. Not a real fight but more likely Deidara is insanely exploding things and Zetsu avoided it

"...and now Deidara is in an exploding things rampage"

* * *

**Mind to review? Please!**


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